Download Agreement, Release, and Acknowledgement of Risk:
You (the person requesting this file download) fully understand mountain climbing ("Activity") involves risks and dangers of serious bodily injury, including permanent disability, paralysis, and death ("Risks") and you fully accept and assume all such risks and all responsibility for losses, costs, and damages you incur as a result of your participation in this Activity.
You acknowledge that information in the file you have chosen to download may not be accurate and may contain errors. You agree to assume all risks when using this information and agree to release and discharge 14ers.com, 14ers Inc. and the author(s) of such information (collectively, the "Released Parties").
You hereby discharge the Released Parties from all damages, actions, claims and liabilities of any nature, specifically including, but not limited to, damages, actions, claims and liabilities arising from or related to the negligence of the Released Parties. You further agree to indemnify, hold harmless and defend 14ers.com, 14ers Inc. and each of the other Released Parties from and against any loss, damage, liability and expense, including costs and attorney fees, incurred by 14ers.com, 14ers Inc. or any of the other Released Parties as a result of you using information provided on the 14ers.com or 14ers Inc. websites.
You have read this agreement, fully understand its terms and intend it to be a complete and unconditional release of all liability to the greatest extent allowed by law and agree that if any portion of this agreement is held to be invalid the balance, notwithstanding, shall continue in full force and effect.
By clicking "OK" you agree to these terms. If you DO NOT agree, click "Cancel"...
There are winds of changes blowing
Gathering leaves up in its path
And the people who are the leaves
Will remain in our hearts
With love, till eternity
Eric Burdon & The Animals
I was down but not out. Nineteen days and counting. Something had to give. And sooner rather than later...
I had gotten real soft real quick the previous weekend at a Sinatra haunt in the Sierra Nevada. When I wasn't dodging cigarette hangovers and casino floor despair, I was neck-deep in a sea of Bay Area frauleins with trendy fingernails and plastic handbags and cancelled eyes. Damn weddings...
A quick return flight to DIA and I found myself desperate to get back on the winning side of things. I believe mountaineering is very streaky. When you're hot you're hot and when you're not, well, you attend GoLite and REI garage sales and let your gear closets do the talking.
A cupcake Saturday? One foot in front of the other? I wasn't ready to start singing the class 2 blues just yet. I'd have all winter to do that. What I wanted was a late October test piece, something with a little sketch and maybe some snow. Something on the fringes of my comfort zone. Something real.
And that is how I found myself on US-285 last Friday evening with the usual chick by my side. We had the Jimmy Johns subs and the cooler full of beer and no obligations for the next 48 hours. Our destination was the Tenmile Range and our booty was Wheeler Mountain.
We could've slept at Montgomery Reservoir but opted for Blue Lakes instead. I was concerned about the rock-crawlers and off-roaders who frequent the former. You know the kind... dig Skynyrd and chair fights and drink motor oil "cuz it's smoooooth..."
I don't have a high tolerance for riff-raff and Blue Lakes turned out to be a good call. It was just us and the goats and the wind until dawn.
Gotta love those 9 A.M. starts. The essence of October...
The road to Wheeler Lake is pretty beastly in sections. There are lots of rocks and large frozen puddles that make it difficult to get into any kind of rhythm. It is over three miles to the lake but the vert is nominal. Snow was calf deep around 12,000 feet and we took a break near the vintage car parked on the northwest shore.
From here we were able to survey our route up to the Wheeler-Clinton saddle. It looked complicated but pretty dry (at least compared to the entrance to the Clinton-McNamee-Traver amphitheatre which was all snow). And by complicated I mean not straightforward. We would do our fair share of zigging and zagging as we climbed up to the saddle at 13,300 feet.
The snow along the way was patchy and more of a nuisance than anything else. With each step, you weren't sure if you would find rock, solid ground, or nothing for eighteen inches and risk a face plant or ankle-grinder.
Eventually, we topped out and it seemed like winter was waiting up there on the other side of the ridge. Your textbook wind ambush. Communication was futile and I ended up pissing all over myself. Nice dude nice...
400 feet now separated us from the summit. But it wasn't an easy 400. Staying ridge proper was not possible without rope and/or industrial-strength crap diapers. We ducked onto the west side and the spindrift picked up and I could barely see a thing. We pressed on, searching for cairns and sections that would go. Eventually, the wind subsided and fall conditions returned. About time.
Our route would undulate the rest of the way. There were rock ribs and runout gullies but nothing terribly loose. A decent amount of snow existed in places but not enough to warrant taking out the axe or putting on the microspikes. We didn't need the buckets either. It felt good to get out and scramble again.
The summit block looked toothy from our vantage point. We chose the dotted-line ascent in Bill's route description. I went up to take a look and when I popped my head over the last rock, I could make out the summit register and a couple of old weathered wooden signs a mere ten feet away. All that remained was an airy catwalk where grab ass would not be an option. Gotta love those class 3 finishes.
I called down to Sarah and she joined me moments later. Great views all around but we didn't linger. There wasn't much room to lounge so we quickly retraced our steps to the saddle and began a slow and languid descent to the lake.
And that is when we heard the gunshots.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
I would count over one hundred during the next twenty minutes or so.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Wooderson: Is somebody shooting an elephant down there?
Papillon: Sounds like the set of a Peckinpah flick.
Wooderson: What are the odds the clown is wearing one of those Big Johnson fishing rod shirts?
Papillon: You mean the ones that ask if you are a 'Master Baiter'?
We returned to the shores of Wheeler Lake and settled down for a snooze. I popped some margherita pepperoni and took in the snow and the wind and the cool crisp horizons. And for a few half-conscious moments, summer returned to me in a whirlwind of images:
9:37 P.M. sunsets and bare-legged campfires. Deep county road trailheads. Kaleidoscope tent cities. Nut-hugger beers.
Patio burgers and salty potato chips. SPF and DEET. Balsamic vinegar socks. Rotten trail runners and stiff treacherous skivvies.
Topos on the hoods of hot metal cars. The backseat reek. Immortal conversations. Sleepy headlamp starts. Full-blown gapers.
And just like that summer was gone...
Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow):
Fantastic write-up. I was awake well into the morning hours last night reading Hunter S. Thompson. Your writing voice is similar to his, which to me is a fine compliment. Nice climbin' too...
Pen's on fire. 8) Okay, first things first, my friend ... there ain't nothing ”usual” about Wooderson. Get over it, and don't use that type of language again .. you hear!?! Secondly, any man who claims that he knows anything about ”pissin' on himself” is full of sh*t ... men know NOTHING about the full parameters of the subject as they are able to: 1) stand in an upright position; and, 2) have the ability to at least try and direct said discharge through means that don't need to be elaborated on in this comment. Oh, and I'll give you $50 for the ”Melba Toast” ... yum yum. Great shots, my friend. Always love seeing the smiling Wooderson in a photo. Thanks for posting. Happy trails!
Not the song I would have picked 10/27/2011 8:25pm
I would have gone for Scorpions. Great trip report. I was curious after our snow climb in June how the other side went. You guys should go back next spring and do the north ridge. I'm still tempted to try Wheeler -> North Star one of these days (next year).
Been too long since you've written a TR!
Good work, and I'm glad you made it to the lake, that's half the battle. ;)
I'm sorry you pissed on yourself. I've done it too, but I was drunk.
When is the book coming out? Great pics but your story telling is quite entertaining and alive. Thanks for taking the time. However, I do have one beef.... what beer did you bring along?!
If someone was to hold a gun to my head and say ”pick your favorite mountain” I'd probably say Wheeler. So thank you for honoring my favorite mountain with a fine trip report.
I always enjoy reading your expansive vocabulary, Kevin. Gotta hate it when those banshees gust at inopportune times! Wheeler is not your typical 10 mile summit for sure. I really enjoyed doing it as a snow climb from Blue Lake this spring. A great one to get back in the saddle on!
is not a place for FBG's, even better with snow. Nice way to paint the picture of time spent in the hills at the end there. Balsamic vinegar socks. Classic McConaughey reference...
@Neil - I much appreciate the compliment. Hell's Angels is my favorite HST offering.
@Presto - Sorry we missed you and the dude last week. And you are right about Sarah. Without her, I am nothing.
@Jon - I enjoyed your report of the snow climb and will try to give it a shot next spring. But I've gotta side with the gringos in southern Texas on the music. They love their Eric Boooooooordin (especially with War).
@d_baker - Sarah said I was long overdue. I hope to catch up with you soon.
@SuperPolok - I'd have no gripes about going back and repeating Wheeler. Great peak and a great route.
@Matt - I am now 0 for 2 in trying to sneak pop culture references past you in TRs. No clue on the signs - there is one on Democrat as well.
@Johnson - I think about a book every day, just need to get the cajones to go all in. And it sounds like they are playing your wife's song in the background of this scene here:
The gunshots may be Peckinpah but the story telling is pure Leone. I've been anxious to read this after I returned home from my trip and it didn't disappoint. You have a clever appreciation of dark humor and good livin. Much enjoyed with a new Double Black IPA from Odells. A satisfying moment in all ways.
Caution: The information contained in this report may not be accurate and should not be the only resource used in preparation for your climb. Failure to have the necessary experience, physical conditioning, supplies or equipment can result in injury or death. 14ers.com and the author(s) of this report provide no warranties, either express or implied, that the information provided is accurate or reliable. By using the information provided, you agree to indemnify and hold harmless 14ers.com and the report author(s) with respect to any claims and demands against them, including any attorney fees and expenses. Please read the 14ers.com Safety and Disclaimer pages for more information.
Please respect private property: 14ers.com supports the rights of private landowners to determine how and by whom their land will be used. In Colorado, it is your responsibility to determine if land is private and to obtain the appropriate permission before entering the property.