| Peak(s): |
Mt. Meeker - 13,916 feet |
| Date Posted: | 11/14/2014 |
| Modified: | 05/09/2022 |
| Date Climbed: | 11/08/2014 |
| Author: | moneymike |
| Additional Members: | ap snow |
| Peak(s): |
Mt. Meeker - 13,916 feet |
| Date Posted: | 11/14/2014 |
| Modified: | 05/09/2022 |
| Date Climbed: | 11/08/2014 |
| Author: | moneymike |
| Additional Members: | ap snow |
| Getting Back, Back on Track |
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After a couple successful jaunts into the Colorado back country for some early season turns with my friends Eric and Otina, I soon found myself out of commission by a cold that knocked me flat on my ass for a good two weeks straight. For years, I've been drinking unfiltered water straight out of the creeks of our high country without any ill effect, but I start hanging out with a girl with two young children and bam! This is what happens! Whether my malady was a result of sharing a Coke with a backwashing six year old, while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles with his mother at the dollar theater, or perhaps just karma for dating a married woman, is impossible to say. In any case, there is probably no lesson to be learned from this...I just need to get over this cold and get back out there again. So, after one and a half weeks of sitting around, replacing muscle with belly fat, I noticed that I was finally starting to clear my floor of snotty tissues faster than they were accumulating, and decided it was time to get back outside and see how much snow had fallen since the last storm. I sent a message to my good buddy, Austin Porzak, asking if he wanted to go hit something soon. "Hell yeah," he replied. "I just skied Dreamweaver in deep pow, and have another line in mind that I need you for." Austin has skied nearly every skiable stretch of steep snow on Longs and Meeker, and after discovering one more obscure line on Meeker that hadn't yet felt the edges of his skis, he was determined to get it done.   Assuming I would be moderately recovered from my cold, we set a date for Saturday November 8. The afternoon of Nov. 7, Austin sends me a message inviting me to crash at his house in Boulder so that we could get a 5 a.m. start the next morning. "Sorry, buddy, I've already thrown back a few brews and probably shouldn't be driving" I messaged him back. "It's only 4," he replied. "Nah, more like six or seven" "I'm talking about the time, not the number of beers you've had!" "Oh. Well, in any case, I'll be there by 5 a.m." The next morning, I arrive at Austin's house right on time (plus an hour and a half). "Yo Money!" Austin calls out. "Is that your new ride?" referring to my new xterra. "Nice! It's about time you got rid of that piece of *edit* Jeep of yours!" "First of all, it's not a piece of *edit*...Jeeps are awesome! Second of all, I still haven't been able to sell it yet." (If anyone is looking to buy a jeep, send me a pm). Within two minutes of my arrival, we were on the road. Austin was in especially good spirits this day. "Yo, Money! I'm super psyched about this ski season. I'm in the best shape of my life." The last time I had seen Austin was earlier this summer, at the end of my previous ski season. Austin had to cut his previous ski season short due to an avalanche accident in East Vail. While not in terrible shape, he certainly wasn't in the best shape of his life during his ski off season. However, being the good friend that I am, I decided to encourage him in his recovery by constantly referring to him as Jabba (I find this technique doesn't work quite as well with my female friends). After meeting him this morning I could see that "Jabba" is no more! Instead of Money Mike and Jabba, it's more like Mucous Mike and Porzak 2.0! Making our way out of Boulder, I ask Austin about this line that we are supposed to ski today. He tells me it is a couloir on Meeker, known as "Dark Star," that is used by climbers to access some ice climbing routes. But as far as he knows, no one has ever skied it before. And almost certainly, no one has skied it in the fall. "So, we might get a first descent," I asked. "Yeah, as far as I can tell" Porzak responds. "Oh, that's really cool. You should do a write up or something." "Actually, Money, I was kind of hoping you would." A minute of silence ensues as Austin considers how his ski sponsors might react to him being in a moneymike trip report, and decides to refine his request: "although, Money, you should probably make the trip report somewhat family friendly, for the sake of my sponsors, and...you know...leave out your trade mark alcohol references." "Too late buddy!" I responded with a grin. "I've already started writing it," as I tap my head with my index finger. Once at the trail head, we wasted little time gearing up before heading up the Longs Peak trail. For the first time since I've known Austin, I find myself unable to keep up with him. I fear that the days are gone when I have to start every hike with "Porzak you better get your ass in gear if you want to make the summit" (a quote I borrowed from his friend Jeff, while skiing with them for the first time). It's clear from the get-go that Mucous Mike is not going to be able to keep up with Porzak 2.0 on this trip. After slowing his pace a bit, I caught up with Austin about a mile into the trek. "How are the Yaktrax working out for you?" he asked, referring to the dollar store knock off version of Yaktrax he loaned me. "Oh, they're fine" I replied. "I suppose I'd be slipping a lot more if I didn't have them on." Not being entirely certain that I actually believed the response I gave, I looked down at my boots only to notice that I was no longer wearing the Yaktrax. They must have slipped off without me even noticing. "Don't worry, we'll find them on the way down," Austin assured me, just before taking off and leaving me in his dust once again. I didn't see a whole lot of Austin this day, as he was almost always far out in front of me. If the solo icons hadn't mysteriously disappeared, I might even request a half solo icon (to partner with my purple snowflake). We did meet up, however, at the start of the chasm lake trail, where we caught view of the Dark Star couloir for the first time. Austin looking up at Dark Star (Dark Star in the middle, with the Loft to it's right, and Dreamweever to it's left):  This photo, and many others can be found on Austin's instagram at aporzak1. Once at the base of the couloir, we donned our crampons and cautiously headed up the mostly supportable wind affected snow. I took the lead on the snow climb and evaluated the stability of the changing snow conditions as I met them, while Austin examined the layers that were exposed in my boot holes.      We stopped periodically to discuss our thoughts on the snow pack stability, but agreed that the supportable, wind affected mono layer of snow was within both of our risk acceptance. I did not measure the angle of the snow, and don't want to give an inaccurate guess of the angle, but it's safe to say that the angle certainly exceeded 45� in several places and probably exceeded 50� near the top. Furthermore, the couloir snakes to the left and right, with tight rocky constrictions. Once above the first constriction, there is no fall line that won't take you through rocks. Thus, our level of risk acceptance for an unstable snow pack was really low"even a small slide would take us through a meat grinder. There were a few wind loaded sections that held questionable slabs, but these were skirted to the side on firmer, border-line sastrugi patches. Every few minutes we would have to dig our whippets into the snow and brace ourselves as strong gusts of wind threatened to knock us off our feet and sand blast our faces with spindrift. The snow was perfect for cramponing, and in very little time we approached the top of the snow climb which ended in a rock wall pierced by a narrow gully. This gully sometimes fills up with ice and becomes a popular ice climbing route, but today it held nothing but rock. Fifty feet below the top of our snow climb, we were able to view a rock ledge at the top of the couloir and to the right. Anxious to begin the descent and get off of the couloir that had been sand blasting us and threatening to knock us over and down through a meet grinder, Austin shouts from below "come on Money, one last heroic push and we're there!" Energized by his encouragement, I take out my ice axe for efficiency and throw myself into high gear and sprint up the couloir. About twenty feet from the top, I had to stop. The angle increased to the point where my nose was nearly touching the snow in front of me, and I did not like the way I was sinking into the sugary snow. There was only about ten more vertical feet to climb, but separating me from the rock ledge was a hard slab resting on a sugary base, on a steep slope, and above a small rock band. A small slide here would take us over the rock band, eliminating any chance of a self arrest and take us through the meat grinder. "I don't think we can make it to the ledge" I call down to Austin. Describing my observations, Austin agrees with my judgment and we start discussing a plan B. We spotted another rock ledge above me and to the left. Making my way up to the plan B ledge, I quickly discover how shallow the snow is. I cannot get a firm purchase with my crampons in the rock and the snow is much too shallow for my axe to be of any use. "I don't think this is a possibility either" I admit to Austin. Not wanting to be the party pooper that suggests that we down climb to a safe ledge, I remain silent, hoping Austin will suggest a plan C. Within ten seconds of thought, Austin says to me "do you think we should down climb to another safe ledge?" "Yes!" I reply. Unaware that Austin had kicked out a large platform in the snow, beneath a vertical rock slab that could be used as a hand hold, just a few feet down from us, I start looking around and mention possible plan D's. "What about the platform I kicked out" Austin asks me. "I didn't realize you dug out a platform" I reply. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it, but it should be good." And so, we both down climbed about six or seven feet towards the platform. The platform was only large enough for one person, so I secured my feet and axe into the steep snow and did my best to shelter my exposed face from the relentless sand blasting while Austin transitioned from climbing gear to skiing gear. After a few painfully cold minutes, Austin was geared up and eager to ski down. I climbed down next to Austin to see him off. Knowing the seriousness of the line, and considering the avalanche possibilities and the dangerous wind gusts, Austin looks at me and says "let's ski this VERY carefully. I love you brother." After returning the sentiment and giving him a fist bump, Austin starts the descent slowly and carefully. Due to the many twists this couloir has in early season low snow conditions, Austin soon disappears out of sight. Shortly after he disappears, the strength of the wind gusts picks up. I have to alternate between attempting my climb/ski transition, and bracing myself from the wind and waiting for a break. After a couple minutes I regain view of Austin as he skis into a wider section of the couloir below me. "Fuuuuck," I hear him exclaim. Although he did not have an urgent or frightening tone, I could tell by his obscenity that the first stretch where he went out of view would not be a whole lot of fun to ski. Here are a few freeze frames from Austin's go pro footage.     By the time I was able to transition to ski mode, I could only guess how far down the couloir Austin had descended. Enough time had passed, with me bracing myself against the wind, that it was possible he was already out of the couloir, but I skied the suspect snow as gently as I could in fear of sending down any slabs on top of Austin, no matter how small. Here is a short clip from Austin's youtube edit, which shows how windy it was on Austin's descent (the gusts became even stronger by the time he exited the couloir). On the way up, we had passed two narrow constrictions that we thought we could get through with a couple careful side steps, or possibly a short straight-line followed by a check turn. By the time I got to the first narrow crux section, I immediately ruled out the possibility of a straight-line solution. Austin had apparently knocked out small slabs at the constriction, making a side step over rocks the only solution. As I prepared to negotiate the rocky crux, the wind gusts really began to pick up in speed and frequency. The gusts were probably around 70 mph and blowing straight down the couloir. They were strong enough that I would not be able to hold my balance while standing up, and was forced to lean into the mountain, dig my whippet in and just wait until a break. Once passed the first crux, I quickly but carefully made my way down to the last of the two narrow rocky crux sections. Back in the narrows, the gusts picked up again, forcing me to lean into the slope, dig my whippet in, burry my face into the slope and away from the wind and just wait until the gusts settled down. At this point, standing up was completely impossible. I put my non whippet pole on my pack and replaced it with my ice axe. During short breaks between gusts, I would inch my way down to the rocks and over them, while securing myself with the axe. I probably spent more time trying to get through the lower crux than on the entire rest of the line. During a break between the gusts, I was able to spot Austin walking away from the couloir and looking back at me. The breaks in the wind were becoming fewer and further between, and I would loose sight of Austin as I disappeared into the spindrifts. After making it through the final crux section and out onto the wider base of the couloir, the winds subsided to the point where I could really open up my turns. Knowing that Austin was safely out of the couloir, I finally got some enjoyable turns in, as I linked several jump turns down to the base in a river of slough. Seeing that I was safely out of the couloir, my ski partner proceeded to high tail it down the mountain and out of the blasting winds. With the exception of a short traverse from the base of the couloir, I was able to ski some thin but supportable snow patches about half the way down to where I could pick up the trail again. I met up with Austin back on the ridge at the junction of the chasm lake and Longs Peak trail. After a high five and a few obscenities, Austin and I agreed that even though we were careful to make smart decisions and constantly reassess the situation along the way, this was one of the scariest descents we had ever experienced. We admitted to each other that we both were a bit terrified on the descent and had visions that this really could end badly for us and might be our last descent ever. Happy that we made it out of the couloir unscathed, we made our way down to the parking lot, along with two other ice climbers that I found Austin chatting with when I met him at the trail junction. Arriving at the lot one minute after the other three climbers and just as the evening grew dark, I found the lost dollar store Yaktrax"one on the cabin porch, and the other on a bench (thanks to whomever found them, which I assume was two different people). Not having caught the names of the other two climbers we hiked out with, I went up to them to introduce myself and catch their names. As I walked up to their car, and before I said anything, they called out "hey, nice meeting you Money." I smiled and introduced myself as Mike and shook their hands. Back in the car, I told Austin that they referred to me as "Money" before I had the chance to introduce myself to them. Austin smiled and told me that before I had met up with the three of them on the ridge, he asked the climbers if they had ever heard of "Money Mike." "Oh yeah! We love his trip reports" they exclaimed. "My ski partner, back up on the mountain...that's Money Mike" Austin explained. (I've left out the climbers' names on purpose...I wouldn't want to publicly embarrass them after admitting to liking my asinine trip reports) One final note: At the time of writing this trip report, the Dark Star couloir has probably received a bunch more snow and more layers. I would assume that the avalanche danger has risen considerably and would not recommend any one going after this line in the near future. Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow): 
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Great TR. Looking forward to more cold weather entertainment from ya!
