Climbing Partner Musings

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Bean
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by Bean »

I find it interesting that a hiker who was overdue one time gets constantly dumped on while those who have had partners killed are generally respected if not adored on here.

Finding good people sure can be challenging, in many aspects of life.
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Salient
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by Salient »

Bean wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 7:58 am I find it interesting that a hiker who was overdue one time gets constantly dumped on while those who have had partners killed are generally respected if not adored on here.

Finding good people sure can be challenging, in many aspects of life.
This sounds quite varying by circumstance. If it was entirely the partner's fault and there was not any real way to save them, then there isn't much anyone could do about it.
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docinco
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by docinco »

highpilgrim wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 8:36 am
docinco wrote: Fri Feb 26, 2021 8:29 am hey, when are we going to find out who was/what happened to curly bill ("Tombstone") broscious?
GGG

.Grendelbro Gone Guy.JPG
yup saw that, but there must be more to this amusing story. anybody?
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by d_baker »

Bean wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 7:58 am I find it interesting that a hiker who was overdue one time gets constantly dumped on
I agree with this. I understand the irony at the time it happened (re: Capt previously dumping on the Shavano incident, about month prior to his night out), but to continue to point that out is overkill. s**t happens. If it happened again, and again, etc, then ok maybe!
He provides plenty of other material to harass him on anyway. Lol
However he's on a streak of being more of a, oh I don't know, a responsible poster??
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by Ptglhs »

pvnisher wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 7:04 am Haven't seen you in a while, buddy! Glad you're posting again! No cap.
Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. I hope the winter is going well for you.
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by pvnisher »

Bean wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 7:58 am I find it interesting that a hiker who was overdue one time gets constantly dumped on while those who have had partners killed are generally respected if not adored on here.

Finding good people sure can be challenging, in many aspects of life.
They don't attack/dump on that member for the incident.
The dumping is related to other posts and history, while the night out of simply the tool used for the attack.

I had a co worker get arrested overseas and spend a few days in jail. The way he handled the incident eventually was used as a reason for him being selected for a management position.
If that person had come back and exhibited a string of douchey behavior then the incident would likely have been used as reason for holding him back.

And just for the record, "no cap" has no tie to any forum member. "no cap" means "no lie", or "I'm telling the truth".
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by Salient »

d_baker wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 3:21 pm
Bean wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 7:58 am I find it interesting that a hiker who was overdue one time gets constantly dumped on
I agree with this. I understand the irony at the time it happened (re: Capt previously dumping on the Shavano incident, about month prior to his night out), but to continue to point that out is overkill. s**t happens. If it happened again, and again, etc, then ok maybe!
He provides plenty of other material to harass him on anyway. Lol
However he's on a streak of being more of a, oh I don't know, a responsible poster??
True, I’ve heard people say a lot of bad things about Capt but judging by his recent posts which is most of what I’ve seen of him, he seems pretty chill.
Be the best you that you can be.
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nyker
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by nyker »

I'll add that having aligned goals is important or at least understanding each other's goals if not the same to manage expectations. This can make or break a trip.
Be honest with each other. That goes a long way.

More broadly, can you trust them? Are they dependable? Will they often change plans or suggest days/times they know you can never make work?
Will they bail at the last minute causing you to have to change your plans wasting time, money, effort, etc.?

And it depends on the mountain/outing in question.
Will it be a nice outing or a suffer fest? i.e. is the person willing to suffer on a long day, lot of vert, hard terrain, miserable weather, (Am I?)
Is one of us a lot more fit than the other and then be frustrated if you/them are moving at a materially different pace?

Will we be starting at 1:00am sharp with no wiggle room for being late or a leisurely post-sunrise start under daylight?
If the former, will that person be there on time, ready?

Is it someone treating the mountain like a 10k race and axed to beat a PR or someone looking to enjoy the day and take breaks often.
Anyone can fit under either category and there is no wrong answer, there are hikes I want to take slow and enjoy the moment, others I just want to get up and down.
But you should know of each other's motives before you start. If you're both ok with one of you sprinting up while another lags behind, great, then again, might not
be the best "partner" for either of you on that mountain.

Understanding each person's risk tolerance is important. Not saying they need to be the same, but if someone is freaked out with heights and exposure, maybe
best not to do sketchy stuff with them. If someone needs exposure to feel like they climb is worthwhile, then they need to choose a partner accordingly.

Are they willing to be prepared? Not carrying warm clothes, waterproof layers, enough water, poles if needed can make an otherwise easy day into a miserable outing.

if one of you has meaningfully more experience is there an understanding who is the leader and who is the follower? If not, that could cause friction at crucial decision
points.

To the point of decision points, does someone have summit fever, are they willing and able to turn around if needed either for conditions or a partner who wants/needs to?
On Longs I still vividly recall a girl stuck at the Keyhole with a death grip on a boulder, paralyzed by fear, screaming hysterically
as her boyfriend left her at the keyhole to go summit himself. That was our first 14er and was thinking WTF is wrong with this guy.
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disentangled
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by disentangled »

I think the other important questions are: Have I always been a good partner? And how could I be a better one?
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Fletch Lives
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by Fletch Lives »

Most people say a sense of humor, but I'm gonna have to go with breast size.
Uh. Well, I've sinned. I didn't take any Polaroids or anything. But, yeah, I've sinned.
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Re: Climbing Partner Musings

Post by CarpeDM »

I've done half my peaks solo, and I like going solo a lot of the time. When I go out with others, it's for a variety of reasons and with different criteria. But, yeah, a good partner is worth his/her weight in gold. The biggest considerations are:

1) Someone who is generally aware of his or her own abilities and limitations
2) Someone who generally exercises good judgment
2) Someone who is likely to be relatively level-headed and capable in a sticky situation (not that they have to been an ice-veined EMT)
3) Someone who is good company - which for me might mean being talkative enough to get a conversation going (since I'm not that good at that) but not too talkative, and someone with whom I can find common subjects of interest (mountains are an obvious one, of course)

And on the subject of company, I just came across this.

Journey_Destination_Company.jpg
Journey_Destination_Company.jpg (40.26 KiB) Viewed 2203 times
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