Needleton beer thieves

Colorado peak questions, condition requests and other info.
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daway8
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by daway8 »

I just scanned across this post and figured I would chip in...

This guy is mentally weak and not prepared to summit the Chicago Basin peaks. He is in good cardiovascular shape and will act really awesome...up until the beer goes missing!

I'll use a quote from the old "Rocky II" movie -- "You have the heart kid, but you don't have the beer."
...and the "beer" that Stiffler_from _Denver is missing includes some nice Colorado microbrews as well as a sixer of Coors Banquet tall boys.

Stiffler is a liability when things get tough on the mountain. If I were considering an experienced and even-headed partner with which I would climb the Chicago Basin peaks (some of the more dangerous/consequential peaks in this state), I would absolutely NOT consider Stiffler (AKA Stiffler_from _Denver") as someone to hold my beer.

Out of an "Unwritten Climbers' Code," I won't go into a lot of details here...but I will say, out of safety for my fellow climbers, you should climb with Stiffler on a very dangerous mountain at your own peril.
Be prepared to emotionally "carry" his beer when the climbing gets difficult. Be ready to have to talk him into making an attempt at the summit days in advance. Be prepared to let him turn around and you want to attempt a summit beer on your own...

Stiffler will out-enthusiastic hike you all day...but just be ready to summit by yourself, without any beer.

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Last edited by daway8 on Wed Jul 28, 2021 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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daway8
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by daway8 »

P.S. I’d gladly hike with Stiffler – see tiny font in case you missed the context of the sarcasm…
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speth
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by speth »

JacerJack wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:04 pm
speth wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 2:16 pm
JacerJack wrote: Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:12 pm I was the beer hider in this story… Can confirm it was well-hidden several hundred yards away from the bridge and strategically buried under a pile of rocks. It was so well hidden I’m almost inclined to think the culprits had watched us stash it.

One of the guys in our group put it best: “That’s like saying ‘hey I slept with your wife but here’s $500.’”

But alas, we more than made up for it with margs on the train and it makes for a fun story in hindsight.

…And for the record, it was two six packs of some nice Colorado microbrews as well as a sixer of Coors Banquet tall boys.
Honest question - was it upstream or downstream from the bridge?
Honest answer - It was upstream, but why would that matter? :lol:
Probably more traffic in general on the downstream side, I think upstream would be safer. I also hid mine upstream with no problems, but my theory is bunk any way considering your experience.
I'll be damned if I feel like I will ever know anything, but if we don't keep moving on that last hill, we'll never know what's on the other side.
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All I want is to just have fun, live my life like a son of a gun
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[-X What are you insinuating? Do you think I'm Ranger? =; Because if you do than you are dead wrong.
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Sarcasm or not, it's not even funny to post something like this. Not at this time. Reported.
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JacerJack
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by JacerJack »

:-D
speth wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 6:24 pm
JacerJack wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:04 pm
speth wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 2:16 pm

Honest question - was it upstream or downstream from the bridge?
Honest answer - It was upstream, but why would that matter? :lol:
Probably more traffic in general on the downstream side, I think upstream would be safer. I also hid mine upstream with no problems, but my theory is bunk any way considering your experience.
Yeah that was my thinking too… Glad to hear your stash made it!
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WVMountaineer
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by WVMountaineer »

Above_Treeline wrote: Mon Jul 26, 2021 11:41 am More seriously think the real question is how to cool off the beer. Because it's probably pretty easy to hide it in the woods and nobody'd ever find it.
I stashed my 6 pack in the woods 2 weekends ago near the bridge and nobody took it. It wasn't river cold on my return but it was still pretty cool since it remained in the shade. Like others here, I would have been pretty pissed off if someone had taken them. Condolences to the stolen beer. People suck...
Fortune Cookie Says "Calamity is the touchstone of a brave mind."
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by mtree »

JChitwood wrote: Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:32 pm Not taking the thieves side here but I don’t think $29 is equal to a 10 cent tip. At my local store a 6 pack of SKA Pinstripe or True Blonde is $7.99 and Coors Banquet is even less $6.99 for a 6 of 16 ouncers. Just sayin.
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Presto
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by Presto »

by daway8 » Tue Jul 27, 2021 6:14 pm

P.S. I’d gladly hike with Stiffler – see tiny font in case you missed the context of the sarcasm…

FYI, for the uninitiated to this site, it has traditionally been the practice (for many years) to put all sarcastic statements in pink font.

Thus eliminating the need to explain yourself (sort of like having to explain a joke ... it deflates the purpose just a bit). As you were.

Happy trails! :-D
As if none of us have ever come back with a cool, quasi-epic story instead of being victim to tragic rockfall, a fatal stumble, a heart attack, an embolism, a lightning strike, a bear attack, collapsing cornice, some psycho with an axe, a falling tree, carbon monoxide, even falling asleep at the wheel getting to a mountain. If you can't accept the fact that sometimes "s**t happens", then you live with the illusion that your epic genius and profound wilderness intelligence has put you in total and complete control of yourself, your partners, and the mountain. How mystified you'll be when "s**t happens" to you! - FM
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daway8
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by daway8 »

Presto wrote: Wed Jul 28, 2021 8:51 am FYI, for the uninitiated to this site, it has traditionally been the practice (for many years) to put all sarcastic statements in pink font.
Ah yes, I forgot about the good ol pink font (had to fiddle for a bit to remember how to do that...)

This makes sarcasm so much more efficient!
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Dave B
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by Dave B »

They call the pink font idiot font for a reason, I pReFeR aLtErNaTiNg CaPs AnD sPoNgEbOb MeMeS!
Make wilderness less accessible.
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JacerJack
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by JacerJack »

Dave B wrote: Wed Jul 28, 2021 9:52 am They call the pink font idiot font for a reason, I pReFeR aLtErNaTiNg CaPs AnD sPoNgEbOb MeMeS!
Yes, Daway8, would you mind retyping that whole paragraph with alternating caps please?

(Also sarcasm… please don’t actually do that)
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superdawg
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by superdawg »

JacerJack wrote: Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:12 pm
One of the guys in our group put it best: “That’s like saying ‘hey I slept with your wife but here’s $500.’”
Women, beer... same thing, really.

](*,)
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Re: Needleton beer thieves

Post by Carl_Healy »

JacerJack wrote: Wed Jul 28, 2021 10:04 am
Dave B wrote: Wed Jul 28, 2021 9:52 am They call the pink font idiot font for a reason, I pReFeR aLtErNaTiNg CaPs AnD sPoNgEbOb MeMeS!
Yes, Daway8, would you mind retyping that whole paragraph with alternating caps please?

(Also sarcasm… please don’t actually do that)
Can also "convert" that in 2-3 minutes with some Excel magic:
jUsT ScAnNeD AcRoSs tHiS PoSt aNd fIgUrEd i wOuLd cHiP In...

tHiS GuY Is mEnTaLlY WeAk aNd nOt pRePaReD To sUmMiT ThE ChIcAgO BaSiN PeAkS. hE Is iN GoOd cArDiOvAsCuLaR ShApE AnD WiLl aCt rEaLlY AwEsOmE...Up uNtIl tHe bEeR GoEs mIsSiNg!

i'lL UsE A QuOtE FrOm tHe oLd "RoCkY Ii" MoViE -- "YoU HaVe tHe hEaRt kId, BuT YoU DoN'T HaVe tHe bEeR."
...aNd tHe "BeEr" ThAt sTiFfLeR_FrOm _DeNvEr iS MiSsInG InClUdEs sOmE NiCe cOlOrAdO MiCrObReWs aS WeLl aS A SiXeR Of cOoRs bAnQuEt tAlL BoYs.

sTiFfLeR Is a lIaBiLiTy wHeN ThInGs gEt tOuGh oN ThE MoUnTaIn. If i wErE CoNsIdErInG An eXpErIeNcEd aNd eVeN-HeAdEd pArTnEr wItH WhIcH I WoUlD ClImB ThE ChIcAgO BaSiN PeAkS (sOmE Of tHe mOrE DaNgErOuS/CoNsEqUeNtIaL PeAkS In tHiS StAtE), I WoUlD AbSoLuTeLy nOt cOnSiDeR StIfFlEr (AkA StIfFlEr_fRoM _dEnVeR") As sOmEoNe tO HoLd mY BeEr.

oUt oF An "UnWrItTeN ClImBeRs' CoDe," i wOn't gO InTo a lOt oF DeTaIlS HeRe...bUt i wIlL SaY, oUt oF SaFeTy fOr mY FeLlOw cLiMbErS, yOu sHoUlD ClImB WiTh sTiFfLeR On a vErY DaNgErOuS MoUnTaIn aT YoUr oWn pErIl.
Be pRePaReD To eMoTiOnAlLy "CaRrY" hIs bEeR WhEn tHe cLiMbInG GeTs dIfFiCuLt. Be rEaDy tO HaVe tO TaLk hIm iNtO MaKiNg aN AtTeMpT At tHe sUmMiT DaYs iN AdVaNcE. bE PrEpArEd tO LeT HiM TuRn aRoUnD AnD YoU WaNt tO AtTeMpT A SuMmIt bEeR On yOuR OwN...

StIfFlEr wIlL OuT-EnThUsIaStIc hIkE YoU AlL DaY...BuT JuSt bE ReAdY To sUmMiT By yOuRsElF, wItHoUt aNy bEeR.
If you can't run, you walk
If you can't walk, you crawl
If you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you
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