Our relationship was built on a rocky and crenulated foundation but there was always a mutual respect & tact for one another. At the onset, I tried to keep a lot of distance between us over disagreements over morality and transparency.
But in hindsight, Jim never really strayed that far and over time, especially within the last few months, our relationship had taken form of something much more solid as a true and honest friendship. If we could have been allowed more time, that friendship I believe, would have morphed into one of genuine respect, care and concern built from our tribulations as opposed to "feel-good" complacency.
I remember a couple years ago, Jim told me of his beginnings as a solid 5.10+ climber and how, after trying some of his first 14ers, he was nervous and scared of 3rd and 4th class choss. Nothing is stable! I couldn't help but to laugh at that!
And how, back in January, while at work on the phone, he told me, "Kiefer, I know I'm dying. But you know, I'm not scared." Jim and I talked long that night about life and what it is we ultimately take away and the impressions we leave behind. That comment, at least to me, proves beyond the shadow of a doubt to the man's inner strength and genuine character. It pains me SO MUCH that I wasn't allowed more time heal our broken bridges, bury the hatchet further and say our peace.
And to that, we both owe Britt an unfathomable favour for being the one to broker and nurture those channels to communication so that we could once again, be friends and hopefully, climb some awesome peaks in the near future.
I wish the experimental treatments that Jim was receiving would have worked.
I wish he would have let Sarah [Simon] and I over to help take care of the house while he attended to...'other things.'
I wish I could have thanked him for accepting my apologies.
I just wish there was more time.
Safe travels my friend. I hope you find peace along the roads you journey.
