Tales from the Death zone

[cedica]

Since we clearly moved to fiction territory here, I have to add that Peach is quintessential wife character, just like Hallelujah Alice Hallie Lee Jethroe from Why Are We In Vietnam?. Also, Robin Wright who portrayed her in the movie absolutely killed it, while Josh Brolin was kinda meh. In unfortunate position to choose between two of them whom to drag downhill, I would've picked her.

[timisimaginary]

Also, as far as family duties go, keep in mind that the only reason they had kids is because Peach tricked him into it by making him believe she was taking birth control when she wasn't. That still doesn't excuse Beck from fatherly duties though, but it was a very uncool young to do.

lying about taking birth control is definitely a shitty thing to do. and a sure sign of how toxic their marriage was. of course, if Beck was that dead-set against having children, there's a pretty surefire way for a man to guarantee it doesn't happen, one which he as a doctor would surely know about. he probably just didn't want to take the 1-2 weeks away from his "training" to recuperate. still, you should be able to trust your spouse if they tell you they're on B.C., it definitely doesn't paint their relationship in a very good light.

Only Beck really didn't climb that much. Sure Everest took a lot of time, but he only did a few mountains (maybe 10?-I'd have to go back and read it, but not ant to) in his whole life.

it was less about the time he spent "climbing" and more about the time he spent "training". my recollection of his description of his training is that he basically way overtrained for all of his climbs. it might only be a 2-week trip, but he'd train obsessively for months leading up to it, spending virtually all his free time (which, as a busy pathologist, he didn't have much of to begin with) in the gym, to the point of injuring himself, and even that wouldn't stop him. for Peach, it was easy to put the blame on climbing because that was the goal he was training for, even if the actual trips themselves weren't that frequent or long.

Spouses should at least try to share and support each others interests, even if they don't like them. My wife and I try to do that.

yes they should, up to a point. when your partner's interests turn into an unhealthy obsession, you're no longer obligated to support them, though you should still be there to get them help. Peach's response to his obsessions definitely weren't helpful or healthy for either of them. lots of people manage to have a healthy obsession, which is an obsession that you can put aside or compromise if you see it negatively affecting your family or other aspects of your life. Beck couldn't do that.
also, i don't even really think Beck was that interested in climbing. i never got a sense he took much joy in it, rather that he was someone who needed to feed his ego with big accomplishments, and used this pursuit to keep his demons at bay.

[timisimaginary]

Since we clearly moved to fiction territory here, I have to add that Peach is quintessential wife character, just like Hallelujah Alice Hallie Lee Jethroe from Why Are We In Vietnam?. Also, Robin Wright who portrayed her in the movie absolutely killed it, while Josh Brolin was kinda meh. In unfortunate position to choose between two of them whom to drag downhill, I would've picked her.

i hated Brolin in that movie. they portrayed him as a stereotypical cocky, rude, arrogant "ugly American". being rude to the Sherpas, dismissive towards his own guides, etc. for all of Beck's faults and issues, i never got the impression of him as someone who disrespected his fellow climbers that way. it was just a lazy, superficial take on his "character".

[Scott P]

it was less about the time he spent "climbing" and more about the time he spent "training". my recollection of his description of his training is that he basically way overtrained for all of his climbs. it might only be a 2-week trip, but he'd train obsessively for months leading up to it, spending virtually all his free time (which, as a busy pathologist, he didn't have much of to begin with) in the gym, to the point of injuring himself, and even that wouldn't stop him.

I'd have to read it again (but I likely won't), but I thought it was only Everest that he trained that much for. Since he lived in nasty East Texas he would have to. Don't get me wrong, Beck was just as selfish as Peach was.

From what I remember of the book they both had plenty of time to go to parties and social activities.

If they had a good relationship, she could have trained with him and he could have supported her activities.

also, i don't even really think Beck was that interested in climbing. I never got a sense he took much joy in it, rather that he was someone who needed to feed his ego with big accomplishments, and used this pursuit to keep his demons at bay.

I agree. He used it to escape and cope with his depression.

Anyway, I don't think Beck was a good husband either and was a failure as a parent. The thing that bothers me about the book though is that Peach is made out to be some sort of a victim (she was a spoiled brat all her life), but if the book is true, she's just a selfish spoiled brat who whines whenever she doesn't get her way.

Beck was a depressed, but selfish person who neglected his family and kids. Him claiming to be an obsessed climber is annoying as well.

Beck seems to have changed though. The impression I get is that Peach always and still thinks she is the victim and never thinks she has done anything wrong even though she is equally guilty and the authors (Beck and the other one) play along with it.

With a lot of obsessed climbers, it really is the spouse or significant other who is the victim. I didn't feel that way about Peach.

The story would have been much better if they would have both admitted their faults and problems rather than sticking with the theme of "mountain climbers and mountaineering bad, lazy spoiled couch potatoes good".

That's why I hated the book so much. I didn't find it inspiring at all.

The mountaineering part of the book is good. The rest rubbed me the wrong way.

Of course looking at the reviews, most people disagree with me.

[timisimaginary]

one of the things that's interesting about the book is how they write separate chapters to each tell their side of the story. it's telling that neither come off particularly well, despite both seeming to try to paint a rosy picture of themselves. though Beck does at least admit to some of his faults and problems. the only inspiring part of the book is Beck's determination to survive once he wakes up alone on the mountain. that part of his story really is pretty incredible.

i don't know how much Beck has really changed, people with his kind of personality don't usually change easily, but i guess for some a near-death experience can do it. how much that's due to the NDE, his injuries, feeling guilty, surrendering to his wife, or a genuine change, who knows. they're still together, so that's enough armchair psychologizing for me. but as someone who can sometimes become, if not obsessed, at least overly fixated from time to time on my own interests and pursuits, i found it valuable as a cautionary tale to not let your hobbies take over your life to the point of hurting those around you.

[Scott P]

i found it valuable as a cautionary tale to not let your hobbies take over your life to the point of hurting those around you.

I think Ed Viesturs is a good example of someone who made it work. He did a lot more climbing and training than Beck did, but had a supportive spouse who was involved with his hobby and he still managed to be a good spouse and father.

And yes there is some value in Beck's book about a cautionary tale. It's the way that the book was written that I don't like.

[timisimaginary]

Viesturs is probably a bit of an exception. climbing and mountaineering is such a demanding and dangerous sport, you need a pretty special person to put up with it. i doubt there are many people out there who have the patience and understanding and mental fortitude to be in a relationship with someone who's gone for long stretches of time, in remote areas where the possibility of death is a constant presence. good for Viesturs and anyone else who can find one of those rare people. Jennifer Lowe-Anker might be another one (havent gotten around to watching Torn yet, but i'm looking forward to it). it takes a REALLY special person to marry another climber after the first one you married died climbing. it seems to me though that the turnover rate for climber/mountaineer relationships is understandably higher, no different than other dangerous, stressful professions like police officers, or ones where the spouse is busy or away a lot of the time, like professional athletes and musicians. the most successful climber relationships seem to be the ones where both partners are involved in the sport.

i finally got around to trying to watch that video. can't say i'm a fan of Beck's speaking style, a bit over-the-top for me, and it's a bit painful watching his attempted jokes repeatedly fall flat. couldn't make it through to the end.