Don’t screw around!

[highpilgrim]

I’m reminded of the important advice from Ferris Bueller: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” In considering this, I have a list of tenets that help me be a little more consistent in my life choices at home and on the trail. How to spend my time and who to spend It with is important to me and here are some of my thoughts on how I fill my calendar.

I offer these things that have either mostly served me well, or, I have learned painfully.

1) Never judge people by their appearance.
2) Always judge people by their bumper stickers, or lack thereof.
3) Anyone driving in the passing lane who is not speeding is an a**hole to be avoided at all costs.
4) Don’t dis slow people. One day you’ll be one, probably quicker than you’d think.
5) If something really smells bad, change direction. In a restaurant, on a trail, or in a relationship, leave the immediate area of the stench. If the smell stays with you, it’s you.
6) Never judge a forum member by their online persona, especially me. (Unless it’s Tallgas) Just kidding. He’s probably alright. Maybe…maybe not. Probably not. Really Gassy, I’m kidding. Seriously, I might be a dick, but every forum member I’ve met has been pretty cool.
7) When a door (opportunity) opens, step through it quickly because it usually slams shut in your face if you don’t. This includes climbing something difficult with your betters, even if you wonder if you’re capable. Hike as often as you can because your health is only a given until it’s not. And that could be tomorrow.
Always be willing to take the fork in the road. Unplanned destinations are often the best. Marble, Colorado being one of those. Or Terlingua, Texas. Or, the cheesy bar just outside of Saguaro National Park. Or the right branch of the trail just before the first steep section of Lindsey. There are lots of good ones, if you’re not in too much of a hurry to get somewhere else.
9) If someone asks you directions and you’re not sure, don’t make something up to look helpful.
10) Never count on Gerry Roach’s trailhead directions to get you to one, at least in a timely manner. Which is just fine, per #8 above. I’ve met some fun peeps, while trying unsuccessfully to find a TH from his directions. Maybe that’s his plan.
11) LOOK FOR CHEAP AIRFARES TO PLACES YOU’VE NEVER BEEN. No explanation necessary here. DO IT.

What are your ideas that I can add to my list?

[Dave B]

12) Never lick a steak knife (thanks Dave Barry)

[12ersRule]

1) Never use cool smileys ( ) when making a list of stuff to do or not do. It's distracting.

2) Name droppers should be avoided at all costs. Katy Perry told me that.

[rijaca]

12. Choose your hiking/climbing/drinking partners carefully. You never know when you might have to depend on them for something important (e.g. buying you a beer). Corollary: never drink cheap beer.

[LURE]

Screwing_Around_South_Park.jpg

[highpilgrim]

12. Choose your hiking/climbing/drinking partners carefully.

I always screw the pooch on this one.

[scalba123]

13. NEVER tell dog owners that dogs don't belong on 14ers. For some reason that offends the %^&$# out of them.

[HikesInGeologicTime]

14(?). If you invite your boyfriend on his first fourteener (and your second), and he says, "Nahhh, I don't wanna wear hiking boots. My treadless, falling-apart sneakers will be juuuuuust fiiiiiiiine for going up Pikes," you should not wait another 6 1/2 years to make him your ex.

[HikesInGeologicTime]

Oh, also 15. If your insulin pump quits while you're ascending Longs, you need to turn around no matter how close to the summit you are. It's farther than you think, and the physical strain combined with your body not handling food properly could lead you to still being above treeline when the late-afternoon storm rolls in, itself leading to you developing hypothermia and hallucinations, including one in which you are the reincarnation of Jim Morrison, a fact you may very well announce to your eventual rescuers. You might then spend two days in the hospital in Louisville with little memory of how you got there, as it is neither in Estes Park, where you were originally taken, nor Denver, where you live.

15a. When the studmuffin of a rescuer tells you, "Let's get those wet pants off you so we can get you warmed up," he doesn't mean it in THAT way. Also, he may toss the pants to your hiking buddy instead of the paramedics loading you into the ambulance, so that when you do come to in Louisville, you have no pants and no phone.

[derekesq]

highpilgrim - i may be the only one who does not know this, but i have to ask - what is your avatar from?

[mtree]

highpilgrim - i may be the only one who does not know this, but i have to ask - what is your avatar from?

I'm guessing Jeremiah Johnson.

[mtree]

12. Choose your hiking/climbing/drinking partners carefully. You never know when you might have to depend on them for something important (e.g. buying you a beer). Corollary: never drink cheap beer.

This is kinda like the chicken and the egg...

Which is better?

1) Free beer
2) Cold beer
3) Cheap beer

I say cold beer is #1. (At least cool beer.) Any warm beer is gross. Any cold beer is acceptable. Any free beer is welcome...unless its warm. So, cold beer gets my vote. My corollary: never drink warm beer.