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10 Reasons Why Millennials Are Destroying Mountains, You Won't Believe Number 4
10 Reasons Millennials Are Destroying Mountains
I’m back with even more clickbait than ever before.
Mount Neva from Meadow Creek Reservoir
Moose near campsite
Lower NW ridge of Neva
Early difficulties on the NW ridge, class 2
Epic Ptarmigan pose
Anyone who has watched Fox News or listened to any crotchety old Baby Boomer who watches Fox News knows that Millennials are ruining everything from casual diners with shitty food to napkins, where will the carnage end. Apparently Millennials are killing mountains as well, please say it ain’t so.
Can't quit see the Lone Eagle Cirque
Look at that avocado bagel eating millennial, shame.
Here are 10 reasons why Millennials are destroying the mountains.
Why do millennials like me have to ruin everything
1. Trails
Millennial peaks don’t have well manicured trails to the top, or even heavily eroded trails to the top. We all knew Millennials had no direction but this is definitive proof.
12660 from Devil's Thumb Pass, summit not visible
Devil's Thumb and Devil's Thumb Lake
Class 2+ upper ridge to 12660, Class 2 bypass on left, west side of ridge
Class 2+ on 12660
2. Crowds
Solitude, Millennials love solitude, you can’t share your summit experience with 100 of your closest friends.
3. Online Beta
I'm not going to give you a detailed report of every inch of the trail
The Baby Boomers of the mountains, the 14ers, have beta of every inch of the route. If a thistle grows in the middle of the trail on Quandary there will be a hundred posts on 14ers about how to avoid it. Millennial peaks have no beta, how the hell do you get up 12834, learn to read a map and route find.
4. You won’t believe this one
Osprey at Meadow Creek Reservoir
5. No Names
Millennials caught in their natural habitat, notice the shocked looks of entitlement, they expect every peak to have solitude
Upper Piney River valley and peaks
The Spider summit on the left, steep route to saddle in the middle
Use the ramp on the left for more solid terrain
Hanging out at the saddle
The Fly
Alphabet Soup
Ben Working his way up
Ben Nearing the summit
So many Millennial peaks have no name, quit being a snowflake and pick a goddamn name. Point 12660, Point 12740, what’s all this about. Quit being so insecure about your names.
6. Weird Names
Why can’t Millennial peaks have normal names like Evan’s or Wilson, instead when they decide to have names they have weird names like The Spider, Velvet BM, or Blackhead Peak, sounds like somebody needs to clean out their pores.
7. Wild Wildlife
Upper ramparts of The Spider
The wildlife on Millennial peaks won’t eat out of your hand. You can’t pet the goats, the rodents won’t crawl over your feet begging for a handout, because Millennial peaks don’t give handouts to rodents, unlike those Baby Boomer peaks.
Heading down the steepness
8. No Human Waste
There might be a trail
The Spider after the storm
You can actually turn rocks over and not find shit, littarily. I suppose that is a good thing for Millennial peaks. Did you hear Millennials ruined the golf industry. Those self-absorbed pricks, not playing an elitist sport.
9. They Attract Hipsters
Stormy afternoon in the lower Piney River Valley
Hipsters who eat avocado bagels, that’s ten times worse than avocado toast. Those smug bastards. No bros conquering Bierstadt on the Millennial Peaks, just hipsters.
10. They Are Barely over Treeline
Seriously don’t visit them, ever, some of them have trees near the summit, there is really nothing to see, stick to the conga lines on Sherman.
Nothing to see here
Misty Morning
who would want to climb those peaks in the background, they're not even 12,000 feet tall
Thumbnails for uploaded photos (click to open slideshow):
yeah, you got me. and I'm not a millennial. sigh...I think you broke a rule in your top 10 though. You gave beta on the ramp to the Spider.
Fun report!
I clicked on this expecting to be angry at my age group being antagonized and MAYBE learn something about how to better myself - was pleasantly surprised. Keep on, man.
I've climbed all the 14ers including a repeat of 2 this weekend. It seems lately all I say is why am I hiking with 100 of my closest friends? Thanks for prompting me to find the solitude I want/need from my climbing. You millennial's are alright! By the way, I'm an avocado bagel eating, vegetarian Boomer. Have fun going the path less traveled!
Ha! I remember when it was the baby boomers that were destroying the country (according to all the old fogeys). Now it seems a lot of us (old fogeys now ourselves), are repeating all the crap that was said about us but saying it about millenials. Of course, listening to Faux News will rot your brain for sure, whatever your generation.
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